Thursday, February 27, 2014

Top Ten Time Saving Tips for the Truly Deranged

by Broo Gammen

Lucky you. You’ve stumbled upon K.C. Blake’s blog on the very day that I took it over!

How dare you not know who I am. I am the Broo Gammen, High Empress of the Mogdoc Empire, Moon of Atlantis, Conquerer of the World. Every creature in Atlantis cringes before my presence. Well, they used to.

No! Keira Ryan didn’t defeat me. Unbelieveable! Is that what she said? Whatevs. She prances around in her Walmart jeans like some kind of almighty savior. Truth is, I got bored of it all and moved on. Can you say “over-rated”?

Don’t get me wrong, being a queen definitely had its benefits, but it’s sooo much work! It felt like a job…and Broo Gammen does not do 9 to 5. I would so rather take my chances on the human side of the barrier where I can rule as the queen of popularity among the young and the beautiful.

I guess it all comes down to time management. Ya know, making the most of the moments we have and blah, blah, blah. [insert more sentimental crap here].

So today I’m gracing you all with my incredible brilliance. May I present Broo Gammen’s Top Ten Time Management Techniques for the Truly Deranged.

10. Always put your werewolf away immediately after using it. It will take twice as long to clean it up later.

9. When sorting evil plans, be sure to discard the ridiculous ones instead of setting them aside for review later. Evil plans don’t get better with age.

8. When getting dressed in the morning, put your hand in the closet and put on the first thing you pull out. You’ll save tons of time and if you are truly deranged (or if you just want to appear that way), does it really matter what you wear?

7. A snitch in time saves nine.

6. Presort your weapons before battle.

5. Is your neighborhood teeming with rugrats. Put’em to work. Labor laws are for bleeding hearts.

4. Create concise bullet points for your super-villian rant and stick to it. We evil geniuses tend to ramble on and divulge too much info.

3. Keep important dates, secret launch codes, and ransom demands on a calendar or in a planner. You can steal one and save money too!

2. When using fireballs for fast cooking remember that moderation is key.

1. Cryogenics is cool…literally! Freeze your assistant now for use later.

Read more about Broo Gammen in The Midnight Guardian Series by Bryna Butler. Books 1-5 are available at all major bookstores. Pick up Book 1, Of Sun & Moon, for free at Amazon.
Thanks to K.C. Blake  for hosting this Fun Friday VILLAIN TAKEOVER from The Society of YA Storytellers.

1 comment:

bryna butler said...

I know Broo can be a royal pain, so thank you for hosting her post. Loved Jersey's takeover post on Liz Long's blog...certifiable evil mastermind!